Analyzing Weezer

Weezer has been the most definitive band in my life, and I have many thoughts about the band's past and present stages.

Past: Weezer was most definitely the first band that turned me into a rock music fan, around age 12. The music was gift-wrapped and handed to me, literally, by my uncle. The first album gave me no choice but to learn to play guitar.

I got the Blue Album and Pinkerton first. Blue Album is a collection of 10 PERFECT pop songs that happen to rock, HARD, that vary in shades from the cheeriest of the cheery to moody and complex, funny, questionable and deeply angry. I had never heard a thing like it.

Pinkerton follows, another flawless work of art: the most human, visceral lyrics with blood-boiling guitar swells and kooky riffs, heavy bass lines, untraditional drumming, four part harmonies and Rivers Cuomo's trembling (something stretching) tenor wail and whisper.

Some people might scoff at my musical adoration of Weezer, a band that has gone through so many transformations and in my (and other =w= die hards) opinion is that the first two albums could stand alone, on a pedestal, forever.

I loathed the Green Album, that popped up like a sickly sweet piece of candy and had none of the deeply prodding lyrics of it's predecessor, Pinkterton.

Then, out of no where, Maladroit shifts Weezer into a stoner heavy guitar blasting rock band once again. Some tracks from that album are so dazzling unique. I was sucked back into idol worship.

The next three albums (Make Believe, Red Album, Raditude) vary from experimental pop and interesting, an odd combination of past sounds but with one or two truly rad tracks, and utterly unlikeable, respectively.

Now hear me out. The Blue Album was completely essential to my childhood and adolescence. I listened to the whole thing through, on my boom box in my room or in the Discman, so many times that the words became my own thoughts, a part of my consciousness.

Pinkerton is my home. Every song on that album feels as natural in my ears as the sound of my own voice or my hands and feet. If I was halfway across the world and Pinkerton was playing, I would feel a calm that few other things could illicit.

Here's where my analysis comes into play:

I, as a human being and rock music slave, am not particularly INTERESTED in lyrics. I realized this after a phase through emo or whatever that I, a fervent poet myself, found few things in lyrics that interested me and I just favored the sounds. Perhaps I was missing out on something else that could have given me what I was looking for, but I had Weezer.

And what about Weezers lyrics? Mostly inane, simplistic. Depends on the album. You can hear nonsense storytelling, haiku, poetry, or line for line diary entries. You could hear pure rhyming fluff.

I have made meaning from Rivers' lyrical style. I understand it now, after years of immersion and also through research on my part of learning about and understanding Rivers as a musician. I know, for example, that he is a genius, a quiet but brilliant mind that honed in on and perfected his ideal pop rock music.

And what is Rivers' pop rock formula? Keep the instruments heavy and but simple, or delicate and simple, whatever the song may be. But the lyrics.... oh those tricky lyrics. They seem like nothing sometimes. But I learned that I really need to be listening to really appreciate them. The man is too damn smart to write a few mindless lines of lyrics. His words, while compact, carry the tell tale sings of GOOD writing: concise, carefully chosen and cleverly executed.

In the car, I was listening to a power pop jam called "Photograph" from my loathed Green Album (I have learned to appreciate it, if you must know).

Here are some of the lyrics:

If you want it, you can have it
But you've got to learn to reach out there and grab it

'Cause everybody wants some love
Shooting from the stars above
And though my heart will break
There's more that I could take
I could never get enough

If you need it, you should show it
'Cause you might play so monastic that you blow it

I could never let it go

It's in the photograph of love

'Cause everybody wants a dream
Something they can barely see
And though my heart will break
There's more that I could take

I could never let it be

As I listened to this perky song, with it's ultra cutesy "ooh-ooh-oohhs" and hand claps, I realized the lyrics were the advice I needed at that exact moment, on a very deep level.

Rivers is talking about the fear and obsession with the "photograph of love," the oh-so-far-away ideal that so many people struggle with and yearn for. He says, don't be afraid to get it if you want it. Solid advice. Everyone wants the love that "shoots from the stars," that sparkling fantasy, but even though he knows his heart will break, he knows he won't give up.

"If you need it, you should show it

'Cause you might play so monastic that you blow it"

This lyric is mind blowing. He's talking about me, perhaps just me as I see myself, or me the fan of Weezer that has been drawn to Rivers for this exact reason. If you NEED love, SHOW that you do, because if you play it off like you don't need anyone, you'll blow it. It seems trivial, but who HASN'T felt this way or dealt with these feelings? Shying away from love because of the fear of heartbreak? Obsessing over the idea of love and being too scared to reach for it? "Everybody wants a dream, something they can barely see."

You cannot underestimate the weight of his words. The way he says the lyrics, their arrangement, the word choices themselves reflect a sharp and introspective mind with a simple and heartfelt message.

Weezer is a really hard band to peg, and I feel like you either "get them" or you don't, you can judge them on their latest mediocre single or delve into their rich discography. But it's times like today, driving in the car, listening to "Photograph" that make me feel so blessed that they are such a large part of my life.

And while I'm talking about fantastically orchestrated yet get-wrenchingly relatable songs, here's "Tired of Sex," my most favorite Weezer song as of late and by far the best track I've ever heard open an album.

If you listen to Rivers speak, you might find out he's speaking to

you. It gives me chills.

I love Weezer so much, forever.

Oh Gaga

A few weeks ago, Gaga released the video for her song "Telephone," featuring Beyonce.

The video certainly caused commotion. It dazzles viewers with Gaga dancing in a thong, Gaga wearing crazy outfits, a horrendous acting performance by Beyonce, a mannish lesbian kiss, and more poison-induced murder. Well, don't take my word for it, watch this clusterfuck for yourself.



So the video received very mixed reviews, but for the most part, people didn't like it. And for good reasons. My blog of choice, Jezebel, said of the video, ""Telephone" is disjointed, self-indulgent, with jumbled, random references, poor pacing, wince-inducing acting and a strange, pro-woman, anti-man message. Oh, and it's ten fucking minutes long." That sums it up well.

The two biggest complaints I have about the video is the copious use of product placement (likely overused for the sake of irony) and the entire lack of connection to the subject of the song. It's dumb enough that we're forced to keep our eyes lingering on Virgin Mobile, Miracle Whip, Wonderbread and Polaroid labels. But for God's sake, the song is a club banger! It's a brand new take on feminine fun and empowerment as Gaga and Beyonce sing about not answering their man's call if they're dancing. And nevermind the goddamn PussyWagon. Stupid Tarantino, why do you have to disappoint me?


However, the mass murder sequence was delightful, as was the patriotic dance orgy at the very end. All we want is to see the two bitches dance, after all. And I'll add the Beyonce is just more gorgeous each time I see her, so oogling her get-ups and hair styles is almost enough for me.

Anyway, here's a completely different take on the song, a cutesy cover by the duo Pomplemoose.
It's quite good!



I was also unfortunate enough to come across the worst song I've ever heard, a cover of "Bad Romance" by a band called The Demonstration. The video is severely awful to boot. Brace yourself, this is about to get ugly. I'm serious, turn your speakers down.



I'm ALL about melodic death metal, but this is really, really bad. And so are the skanky chicks. Ugh. I'm actually really sorry I made someone watch that. But we need to know what we're up against.

My 10 Downloaded Cell Phone Ringtones

Hello,

I currently have 10 downloaded ringtones on my cell phone. I have Sprint's Rumor phone, it sucks, but it looks cool. Having these ringtones makes my phone better.

I used to buy ringtones while say, in class in high school instead of listening or while in the bathroom instead of washing my hands, but now I download them from from from Myxertones. It's probably illegal, but I do pay the cost of a text message to receive the tones, and I'm an internet pirate, so what the fuck ever.

Here are my tones.

1. "What It's All About" by Girl Talk

Specifically, the sample at the very end of the song that features a remixed version of "ABC" by the Jackson 5.

My ringtone starts at the 3:32 mark and features the mashup stylings of "Umbrella" by Rhianna and "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. This tone is for my parent's house, labeled "Home."

2. "1969" by Iggy Pop and the Stooges

This one is solely for my best friend, Kayla.

She and I are bffls not because we have everything in common, but because we have only the most awesome things in common. We both love rock music and our dads are both old rockers and we don't put up with any of that bitch rock music. We love The Stooges. We also love the movie SLC Punk! and the soundtrack of that movie which changed our lives. "1969" is one of the key tracks from that album. When my phone rings and it's Kayla calling, up pops a picture of her making a weird smiley face with big sunglasses taken from the beach near our houses in Warwick, and Iggy singing. It's always summer when she calls!

3. "Come Together" by The Beatles

Dad's cell phone. This is a tricky one, because I have it start right at the beginning of the song, which is kind of soft, but it's a good one.

This is pretty easy to explain. My dad is an old Beatles die hard acid dropping Tolkien reading long haired freak. If not for my dad showing me the Beatles, I'd be dead in a ditch somewhere. I like this one particularly because it's groovy and weird.

4. "Fashion" by David Bowie

Oh dear. This is the big one, people. This is the ring tone for all caller ID calls. So 85% (I'm assuming) of calls I receive ring with this tone.

I don't need to tell you how I feel about David Bowie. It's a feeling that just grows and glows inside me. I really love him. He's so special to me. "Fashion" is genius, a perfect Bowie song, and it suits me quite well.

5. "I Think I Love You" by David Cassidy

I don't even know if I've assigned anyone to this ringtone. I got it for free from Oprah Winfrey. One day, I was watching her show and she was doing an "All Things '70s" show, and she had David Cassidy on to perform. She then shouted at the camera "I'M GIVING AWAY FREE DAVID CASSIDY RINGTONES TO ALL SPRINT PHONE USERSSSSSS!" and I was like, "shit, I'm a Sprint user" so I texted the number and got this free ring tone. Yup, that's it.

Randomness is a great thing. I'm glad I have this ring tone. Plus it was freeeezies.

6. "Mad Men Theme Song (A Beautiful Mine)" by RJD2

As I've already stated here on this blog, I love the show "Mad Men" and their theme song is hot as hell. This tone is assigned to blocked number calls, I believe, giving them an even more ominous feeling when the moment occurs and the phone rings.

7. "MCs Act Like They Don't Know" by KRS-One

This is for my friend Cassie. She's a bad ass bitch and my radio co host. I made her a mix with this song on it when we were 18 and to this day we thug out when we listen to it.

Cassie and I have been known to do some gangsta shit so this song suits her perfectly. Lots of hangovers, driving in cars with big sunglasses, selling weed, getting into fights at clubs, that kind of thing. This is our jam.

8. "Mother and Child Reunion" by Paul Simon

This one is for my beloved mom...duh. My whole family is huge Paul Simon fans, this song is one of my all time favorites. It's soooooo beautiful.

This song is sort of about the mother and child relationship, but not really. It just makes me love my mom when I hear it. We dance around the kitchen to this. I feel warm and fuzzy just listening to it. Paul Simon will always mean love to me. It's definitely a treat, no matter where I am, to hear this song and see my mom's face on my phone.

9. "Once Again" by Girl Talk

Girl Talk gets two spots on my cell phone. This tone is for my girl Linzi. She's a big GT fan and we chill all the time. We are often singing in her car, shaking our butts and waving our arms in the air. This is most def one of GT's best jams, but the part of this song that is my ring tone is PURE GENIUS. It's at the 1:25 mark. Ying Yang Twins vs. The Verve. Can you deal with that?

Linzi deserves it, that's all I have to say.

10. "The New Pollution" by Beck

Marissa, my sister, takes the title for this ringtone. She calls me A LOT, so unfortunately, this song has lost some of its joy because it has become associated with not answering the phone. But, way back in my memories, I remember my sister as the weird, skateboarding alt rock frizzy haired chick that gave me "Odelay." Beck is God to me, so that makes my sister ... Jesus?

Wow, just watching the video reinforces my beliefs. I love you sis!

I Am the Assistant to the Best Professor Ever

This is true. I am a teaching assistant to KBro, the best filmmaking professor at my university and people who know him envy me.

"What?! How did you get to be KBro's TA?"

Well, it was one part diligence, one part dedication to making good films, one part charisma and the rest was the pure luck that KBro and I get along really well.

It's not bragging, but I have encountered other students of his who meet me and say "YOU'RE the TA he's always talking about? I hear so much about you! Wow, nice to meet you!"

So aside from the fact that I got a big ego, after three years of being my professor and mentor, and after a year of me begging, and as this year became increasingly hectic for KBro, he let me take on the task of assisting him teach his Filmmaking I course.

In brief, KBro is a bright and extremely educated filmmaker, a gifted teacher, and an all around hilarious and delightful human being. He is fair, honest, positive, wonderfully saracastic and does just about everything he can do to help his students make great movies.

He's also obsessed with the 1980s. I know this because once he came to my radio show and played things called "records," featuring the most absurd hair metal and synth pop. He also only listens to the 1980s station in his car on satellite radio.

He also made this movie, called "Tough All Over," as his senior MFA thesis.

This probably led to my classmate getting a great grade on his Filmmaking I final film, called "Once Upon a Time in the '80s."

I, however, did not include the 1980s in my Filmmaking I final, but I'll throw it in here anyway, because this is my goddamn blog.

Well, truth be told, I was not lucky enough to HAVE KBro as my Filmmaking I professor all those years ago. I had some asshole who didn't teach me much, and therefore my film had bad sound. It's not my fault.

Anyway, that's why I'm so lucky to be KBro's TA now. I'm learning so much!

Besides the great assistant opportunity, KBro has helped me achieve so much in my time here at university as a filmmaker, in a school where filmmaking is exceedingly underfunded and unimportant.

For one thing, every month he brings his students (or whoever wants to go) to Boston Open Screen , which is essentially an open mic night for filmmakers. Anyone can screen anything they've made, if under 10 minutes, to a real live audience, drink beer, laugh, cry, network and have a great time. It is here where I see some of KBro's real filmmaking, the stuff he does when he's not teaching, and it's impressive. Unfortunately, he doesn't like the idea of putting up his films on YouTube, so I can't feature them here, but trust me, they're excellent. I myself have shown 3 movies so far.

Another great opportunity KBro has given me was the chance to be a production assistant on a real, independent feature length film. His grad school friends put one of their screenplays into production last summer and KBro spread the word that they were looking for help. I tentatively agreed, drove my ass to New London, Connecticut for three days and ended up learning SO MUCH. Plus, I'll be in the credits! The movie is called "Party Like It's a Verb."

Next week, KBro will be at SXSW, checking out all the cool shit in Austin, Texas, schmoozing, being a cowboy, typical things. I will be in charge of our Filmmaking I class AS WELL as covering his Film 101 lecture class. I'm honestly very proud of the responsibility.

Thanks to him, I've gone from being another floating face in the masses of coursework, just trying to get a passing grade, to a collaborator with someone I really admire and a trusted assistant.

BE JEALOUS.

The Fucking Academy Awards

My random, live thoughts from the 82nd Annual Academy Awards.

1. NPH opening number : Kind of awesome, kind of tacky.

2. Unfunny joke about "The Last Station."

3. Helen Mirrin is such a hot bitch. I really hope she wins Best Actress, but I know she won't...

4. MERYL STREEP HITLER MEMORABILIA?? WHAT???

5. Baldwin makes an "inside joke" about actors. Heheh.

6. Is that the director of Avatar, James Cameron? (Pulls out 3-D glasses)

7. Best Jew joke I've ever heard.

8. Christopher Plummer : my heart is breaking watching him act. That's fucking talent.

9. Christoph Waltz = duh. The Oscar was his 10 minutes into "Inglorious Basterds."

10. Cool animated character interviews!!

11. "This is not food!" - Dog from "Up."

12. What is Miley Cyrus doing here? I wish she was dead.

13. Alec, stop making inside jokes about Hollywood, I'm getting very jealous.

14. RDJ, what the fuck are you wearing?

15. OMG they are making the best actor/screenwriter jokes.

16. I am fascinated by the delivery of the screenplay awards.

17. HEYOOOO Ferris Bueller joke.

18. John Hughes tribute got me really choked up. Macauly Culkin with tears in his eyes... wow.

19. Hearing the filmmakers talk about short films is so inspiring. I can never lose sight of my dream. "A jewel box of storytelling."

20. I got so sad when they cut off the producer for the winning short live action film. They wouldn't do that to Meryl Streep.

21. Ben Stiller, OMFG STOP IT. Award for best make up. Ah. Makes sense.

22. My roommate and I haven't seen Precious, and we're too scared to watch it alone because we're sure we're going to cry our faces off, so we're going to download it and watch it together. Hearing the screenwriter accept his award is like, seriously moving.

23. Mo'Nique.

24. Martin and Baldwin - not really funny. Disappointing.

25. What a great speech from the costume designer! "This award goes to all the designers who do movies that aren't about dead monarchs or glittery musicals."

26. An amazing explanation of the importance of sound mixing in film.

27. Sandra Bullock: You're fine and everything, but first, you really don't belong here at the Oscars. Second, fuck your stupid little quip about cinematography. "Make me look good, then do your artsy stuff." Haha...but really, fuck you. Actresses are bitches.

28. Beautiful tribute to those who have died. I can't believe Patrick Swayze is dead. "In My Life" is my parents' wedding song. But...where was Farrah Fawcett?

29. Tribute to horror was electrifying, even though I can't deal with horror genre. Except.. why did they slip "Twilight" in there?

30. I didn't see "The Hurt Locker" either. Damn me.

31. Pedro Almodovar and Quentin Tarantino, couldn't love you more. Q is so weird.

32. Foreign language films give me wanderlust.

33. "The White Ribbon" is going to win! I bet... Ok no, it didn't. That's ok, I haven' seen any of those films. I just saw "The White Ribbon" trailer. Heheh. The winning director: "Please wrap up? How?!"

34. "Avatar": good, not great. That's all I have to say. If you wanna fuck with sci-fi, then see "District 9."

35. It seems like Best Actor is already gift wrapped for Jeff Bridges. DUDE!! YOU'RE GONNA WIN!

36. The tributes they give to each specific actor are so great. This year seems to be famous co-stars of the nominated actors. I can't get enough of it. JB is about to cry. Michelle Pfieffer is seriously flattering.

37. George Clooney is handsome. Really? Wow, thanks for pointing that out, Vera.

38. Tim Robbins brought the LOLs at Morgan Freeman's expense.

39. Colin Farrell tells a drunk-in-Mexico story about the actor from "The Hurt Locker." They shared a bed? That's what I'm talkin' about.

40. Jeff wins. I can't wait to see "Crazy Heart!" God he's handsome. I want my husband to look like that at 57. He's so happy right now! This is so special. And groovy. Thanking the producer: "Where are you? Raise your hand man! Yeah! SCOTTY!"

41. JB's wife is a fox with killer turquoise earrings, FTW.

42. No one is going to win a single fucking award for "The Last Station" or "A Serious Man"... or "An Education"... and they were SOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN AVATAR OR THE BLIND SIDE. Fuck this indie bias. I poop all over your big budgets and 1% milk content.

43. This is hilarious. Watching all of the Best Actress nominees' performances and seeing Sandra Bullock's stupid blonde head in there next to Helen Fucking Mirrin and the rest... she is so not worthy of this. If she wins, I will not be able to contain my disappointment. This is bullshit.

44. Holy shit, my Tivo didn't record the whole show! Fuck!!!!

45. Helen Mirrin's spiderweb tattoo ... so hot. Is he for real? That's amazing.

46. Peter Sarsgaard's homage to Carey Mulligan was powerful. "Get used to the attention."

47. My Tivo cut off the show right in the middle of Oprah's tribute to Gabory Sibide.

48. Fuck my life.

"a vortex of deafening pain without a safety net"

This is the band Crystal Castles.

The first I ever heard of them was when I opened Spin magazine a little over a year ago and saw this photo splashed across their featured article.

"Cool," I thought.

"How is she smoking through a stocking?" I thought next.

I read the article. The band is comprised of these two members alone: Alice Glass, the 20 year old horror hipster eye candy vocalist and Ethan Kath, the 28 year older dirty bearded mastermind.

I was intrigued by the photos and the electronic experimental lo-fi noise style of music I was reading about. I searched them and downloaded some tracks.

This is what I discovered.


It was slightly terrifying. But it also felt... good.

BACKSTORY:
I am a devoted rock music minion and proud to be one. And I don't need lyrics. I need sounds, beats, pulses, an audible hypnosis. I need to bang my head.
Ever since I discovered distortion pedals when I was 14, my life changed. I found that there was a very large hole in my heart that was hungry and craving something jagged, fiery and LOUD. I deeply desired mind-crushing, sternum quaking rock music. But I was having troubling finding the flavor that was right for me. Queens of the Stone Age built the foundation of my robotic machine gun fire rock music skeleton. The Misfits, the only punk band I actually love, also satisfied the burst of violent energy that sometimes need satiating (only Static Age really).
Then, in college, I found Death From Above 1979, a band so pure in purpose that I thought God shot it from an Uzi down to Earth just for me. More on them later.
Around the same time, I fully immersed myself in the new wave of electro music.
And then, Crystal Castles settled itself ever so neatly on the path I was traveling, the path towards thrash music nirvana.

So. Let's judge the book by its cover. CC look like two stock dirty hipster scumbags who are ghoulishly pale and skinny, as to accentuate what look like thrift store duds (but are probably wildly overpriced designer gear). They look like to two caricatures from the sweaty electro MP3 gutter party scene. Alice is a stunner but smudges black makeup across here eyes and wears her hair dyed jet black in a Peter Pan like bowl cut. Ethan is a bearded, tight pants wearing background dweller on a synthesizer with hair that covers his stoic face.

But their music... god help me, it's something special. On Wikipedia someone explains their sound as "ferocious, asphyxiating sheets of warped two-dimensional Gameboy glitches and bruising drum bombast pierce [the] skull with sheer shrill force, burrowing deep into the brain like a fever".

Take "Love and Caring" for example. Alice screeches in a way that must make her cough up blood, the beat feels like a hundred tiny drill bits entering the cranium, and the old-school video game clinks and clanks are obnoxious and anxiety-inducing. But the combination somehow flows into primal rhythm, a shaking, high voltage banger. I was not only in love -- I was taken aback at what my heart was suddenly capable of decoding, deciphering and loving.

Their songs are not all like possessed pin ball machines. The sound transcends into a more groovy, danceable format with jams like "Reckless."


It's a new kind of dance music, a hybrid of mindless noise and clever composition, to make meaning with machines, to conjure emotion from computer files. It's kind of hard to explain, but Crystal Castles have given me something I really needed, something I was aching for, something I didn't even know existed.

I'll leave you with two things.

First, my friend, a humble but to-the-core hipster music junkie found CC's album in a record store in NYC. This photo is hilarious because it just happened like that, with no set up. That's him holding the record.

Last, I'll leave you with the Crystal Castles tune I can't get out of my head. It sneaks in through your ear buds and turns your brain into glitter. Enjoy.