First of all, yes, I'm talking about myself.
Second, I would FOR SURE wear that costume if I could. I go to costume parties frequently, it's kind of the thing to do, and that cozy-looking number would surely make people jealous.
So I made my confession. I'm a well-adjusted, nice-looking, healthy, friendly, intelligent, social 21-year old woma
n who doesn't live in her parents' basement, suck her thumb compulsively, wear cat ear hats or type like this o_O.
BUT I FUCKING LOOOOOOVE POKEMON!!!
I still wanna catch 'em all!
I had a few cards, but I was obsessed with the Gameboy video game when I was younger. That's when I also started watching the cartoon show every morning before school (from 6:00am -6:30am). Healthy, right?
Today, I play Pokemon Stadium with my friends (who are just as cool as me) while we get drunk and shit-talk each other, usually on Friday nights. I should be dating. But no, I pound beers, chain smoke and scream and shout as I battle insane creatures to the death (or faint, which is what they actually do when you beat them).
Here are some of my favorites.
BULBASAUR
(and Ivysaur and Venusaur)
Bulba is super cute and classic. He was my ride-or-die Pokemon when I started on Pokemon Red for Gameboy when I was 10 or 11. We've been through absolutely everything together, as far as I'm concerned. By the time he became Venusaur, he was an unstoppable tank. Razor leaf, vine whip, solar beam and leech seed are some of his most advanced skills and I knew them right off the top of my head. I love you Bublasaur.
PIGEOT
Noble, simple, powerful. Pigeot rarely fails to deliver in battle. He is also useful when you need to fly. Flying Pokemon are important because while challenging an opponent, they can literally fly above the battle scene and evade their opponent's attack. When Pigeot does this, he swoops back down and knocks the motherfucker out. I would always trust Pigeot.
ONIX
Rock serpent. Bad ass. Need I say more? He's mostly intimidation-status, because he slithers and towers over his opponents like a sky scraper. He's easily defeated by water, as do all rock Pokemon, but I love the pure, fearsome quality of Onix's writhing boulder form.
HOUNDOOM
Clearly the most metal of all Pokemon. Houndoom is surprisingly strong and evil as shit. I WISH he could be my real dog. Imagine walking him on the street? According to Bulbapedia, the internet's premiere Pokemon encyclopedia, Houndoom breathes fire that leaves untreatable burns and supposedly smells painfully foul. His bark beckons the Grim Reaper. SICK. I really wish this one were real.
GIRAFARIG
Don't let this little fucker fool you. He is unstoppable. His ass part is a vicious beast. His strange composition grants him little weakness. My Stadium-opponent friend always chooses this guy and she ALWAYS beats me with him. Girafarig (which I JUST REALIZED IS A PALINDROME OH MY GOD! I'M SUCH A NERD!) is one of the newest Pokemon to the universe and he's cute as hell and tough as anything. I.e., the perfect Pokemon.
I'll leave you with the music that still makes me shiver with excitement every time I hear it.
So if you wanna rumble in the Stadium, let me know. I'm down!!!!
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